Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
