how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
