sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
