we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
