No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
