i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
