You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
