happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
