Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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