you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
