No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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