I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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