I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
