Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
