i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
