you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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