normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize