R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
