We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
