don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
