MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
