I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
