yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
