If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
