He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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