I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
