When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
