Whod you bang
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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