I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
