the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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