So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
