And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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