she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
