i barfeds in our rink
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
