I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
