Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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