just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
