My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
