let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
tell me about the fingering
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