So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
