Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
you will always have a special place in my vag
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
