Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
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