hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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