I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
my being single is dangerous.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
