My room smells like vodka and shame
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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