I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
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