Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
