There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
