i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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