I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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