Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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