i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
