Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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