You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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